Ok I need to get something straight before I carry on. I I left school at 15, to be honest I don’t even have a GCSE, never mind a degree! I left my studies late and only ever started to make an effort with education when I left the military. I do however have experience and life skills, so if my grammar, punctuation or spelling isn’t up to speed I can only apologise. The fact remains if I did have those credentials I really don’t think I’d be writing this somehow, I would of proberly done a lot better in life. Well I didn’t I did this and this is me. So moving on ….
18 stone at 5 ft 7…..
No too shabby!
8 stone is a fair whack of timber to lose, I have met a few girls in the past who had achieved it and a few guys too. They all lost around 5-6 stone but 8 stone! how would I manage that? Is it attainable?
What about skin afterwards? Would I turn myself into a deflated bouncing castle?
Looking at some of the biggest loser contestants I thought long and hard that the possibility was there and then what? how much money would I have to fork out to have myself turned into a patchwork quilt?
Brilliant can’t wait for that!
Like I said before I was a British soldier for almost 16 years, I’ve always been into sport and even though I wasn’t skinny in the military I could still shift for a fat lass. So I had a basic understanding of how the body works and what to do to combat the excess skin and Google is an amazing tool.
The first weigh in I was so nervous I was shaking like a shitting dog.
What if I haven’t lost?
What if I’ve gained?
What if I’m stuck in this oversized shell of misery for the rest of my life?
I was all over that plan like I’m all over cake… I was rigid, even though it says don’t weigh your food I still did. I kept everything to a minimum nothing shite passed my lips.
The meat scales were upon me. I decided to wear the same clothes as the week before.
drum roll please.
17 stone 8 to…..
17 stone 1/2 lbs
Jesus Christ I had lost over half a stone in a week. Now I read somewhere that it’s mostly water you lose first. Errrrrr that’s a negative ghost rider I didn’t drink water. Full fat coke for this call sign maybe 2 bottles a day.
Wow I was so happy and the group where amazed. Some jealous cow had to put the “all big girls lose a lot in the first week”
So In true CJ comebacks I said.
“So you should do just as well today then?” the fact I knew she had been on the plan since 1982 ( slight exaggeration ) I thought fuck you. Don’t piss on my chips!!!
I drove home with a smile on my face and I couldn’t wait to tell my Ex husband all about it. Strangely he wasn’t that interested and said let’s see what happens next week…..
Ok knobhead alert…. he was a jealous man but alarm bells started to ring. He’s not gonna like this is he? Unlucky ducky I’m on one now. Let’s see how far I can push it. So week after week the lbs were dropping off they had a saying in the group
I only ever lost, the most I lost was the initial 7 1/2 lbs and the least was 3 lbs.
I was literally on fire, week after week gaining certificate’s slimmer of the week, 10% and slimmer of the month. My knee stopped hurting, my skin was clearing up, I felt more energy and my confidence was gaining momentum. But my ex husband was getting more and more difficult to live with. He did not support me one bit. I cooked meals for him he would eat them, then have a pizza in front of me later on. He never tried to force me to eat shit, but he never was happy when I came home with great losses either. I got the feeling my new confidence was upsetting other people too. A few friends deleted me off social media one explained is was simply she was so upset about her own weight I was making her jealous. At first I was pissed off but now I understand why she was hurt it must of been so upsetting for her.
Another person I choose not to name ( not with fear ) just the fact she means nothing to me! I class her as scum, a parasite, a bully someone who for all the years I’ve know her, I never really liked her. When I first met her she was that drunk she put a fag out in my drink and was just crude. You know the type just foul most people around her slagged her off or had choice words I used to try to defend her why? I’m not so sure now I saw a very upset girl who lashed out on people through her own pain. But her jealously was evident we would sometimes be mistaken for each other sadly for her she would be mistaken for my bad and I for her good. She rose her head recently and managed to involve her family in some sort of hate group against me, yes her husband messaged me and no I did nothing with it, I always invite her to have a read, I suppose it’s heartbreaking when your ex hates you as much as the majority. Needless to say we did look similar, both over weight, both blonde and both in the same job. Although she paid for weight loss surgery and lost an amazing 10 stone I think. ( don’t quote me but I knew she was that little bit bigger than I was ) she had achieved similar results to me. Although I believe Weight loss surgery is cheating but I suppose someone who isn’t as determined as others and chooses the easy option might be slightly jealous over another persons success, but who am I to judge?
Either way we both got the results that we craved for ( although I hear she may of gained again )
After the first 3 stone loss which took me less than a month and a half! I decided to hit the gym. The doctor confirmed that my diabetes was gone! Wow I actually made myself better by losing weight.
I started to run only short distances a mile in a morning and then into the gym at night for weights, light weights high reps. After a month I was running anything from 6 to 10 miles a day, I knew I had to tighten my skin back up and that was the way to do it a combination of cardio and weights, I focussed on the areas where I held the weight so my arms and stomach. My legs have always been slim even as a fatty…. it’s weird how the body works I was the only 18 stone lass with no arse!
The PT ( physical training ) was hard and I knew I had to work harder to achieve the results I wanted. More cardio in the morning followed by weights at night. I got myself into a routine. Funnily enough I’m in the same one still and will be all the way up to stepping on that stage in April.
By around December 2012 my work life changed considerably. I had gained a contract to go work in a hostile environment and so I would be leaving the UK to work abroad. I was still training hard and the weight had gone. 8 stone melted away and I had done it in around 6-7 months. Some tweaking was still needed but I had lost what I set out to achieve.
I felt fantastic, my ex however was not so happy. Now there are a few things they don’t tell you about huge weight loss
1, The skin
2, Loss of breasts
4, Loss of friends.
Some say “you have changed” well of course we do! I’m almost half the size of who I was. Those feelings of worthlessness have gone! I’m feeling happy in my own skin I’m confident I feel sexy I feel self worth!!!
But some don’t like that, they want to push you back down back to the hole you hid in!
My marriage would never of survived. I left for Afghan and knew when I came home I would tell him it was over. I couldn’t deal with his jealous rages or constant accusations. Now my ex husband is not a bad person. I will never blame him for how he reacted, like me this was new and he didn’t know how to deal with it. I asked him to stop it, he had no reason to worry but he couldn’t so I ended us before it got too much. No kids just a clean break. He is a lovely person and he’s happy with someone else now. So my conscious is clear.
Off to Afghan I went.. 2 months in Afghan 1 month in the Uk that was my rotation. But there was a massive problem. The food was terrible, with my allergies and stomach problems I knew I was going to struggle. I was so scared to put weight back on I did something I told myself years ago I wouldn’t do again. I started to take laxatives again, now if you know afghan you will know the toilets aren’t Harrods standard of cleanliness. I had to time my tablets just right so I wouldn’t get caught out. After a few weeks I had it sorted. I drank only protein shakes and kept my food intake to a bear minimum. What an idiot! With the warm weather and work load plus gyming it twice a day. I was putting myself back into bulimia and I was prepared to do it.
Stupid stupid girl. Why? Was it worth it? Nope I was ill a lot, dizzy most the time and emotional, angry almost. People just pissed
me off. But I was hangry a term used by body builders who have to portion their intake before competition prep. Now I had decided to do a comp and I was in the process of training for it. It there was one last thing I needed to do before I started the long journey to standing on a stage in a bikini. Something I had never done is wear a bikini but I wanted to do it once just to show my hard work. But I had no breasts anymore when I was a slim girl I had none it was only once I got fat that I developed fat girl boobs. Once the fat had gone I was left with two saggy bits of skin… so with the new boobs and a massive confidence boost I waited to heal before I began training to compete in a transformation category.
The picture below on the left was taken as I started to the train for comp in Afghanistan. 8 weeks later is my progress after my surgery.