I did It, I fucking did it!!!
All those years of wanting to compete all those doubts all those obstacles and I did it. Wow the feeling was unreal, I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say apart from giving birth to my children and watching my son pass out in the Army that was on par with those feelings.
After just over 12 weeks of preparation blood, sweat and many tears. I stood on a stage and competed in a fitness modelling competition. Going from an overweight, depressed stuck in a rut mum. To a divorced twice sad woman, to a widow of my ill fiancé to then an abused GF/fiancé of by far the most disgusting bastard and abusive man I have ever met!
I now can say I am NOT a fat ugly bastard. I am 5th place in a transformation catergory with a trophy and some great opportunities ahead. I can’t believe I even won a trophy 🏆 never mind actually did it. The feeling was euphoric, every single doubt in my head has gone. Every body image worry and my shitty self confidence has gone!!!!
I’m not fat! I’m not ugly and I’m no dog. I’m an athlete who went through one of the most gruelling training regime to atain a figure that most nearly 40 year olds would be proud of!!!
I stood waiting to go on and three things went through my head.
Richie said I could do this and I did it for him.
My friends and family plus my amazing coach have supported me and have had faith in me from he start.
To prove to that bastard that he has no control over me in my head I will no longer hear those words again, I will no longer look in the mirror looking for his opinions. So fuvk you ya Narc bastard, you need to look in the mirror before you ever ruin a woman’s self confidence again, coz ya ain’t shit!!!!
And that my beautiful people is what we call closure.
Onwards and finally upwards. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻